Chapter One

        Adam stood in the middle of the field staring at the back of Angie Madison’s head. She stood near the bleachers, her back facing Adam, in a tight group of drooling boys. Her long straight black hair was tied in a lose messy bun at the top of her head. Adam stared, wishing , longing that he was one of those boys that surrounded her, that were lucky enough to bask in her heavenly presence. Adam imagined what it would have been like if she were to walk toward him.
“Hey, Adam”  Angie would say detaching her self from the drooling group of boys. She would sway gracefully over toward him, a sexy smile on her perfect pouting lips.” hey, Angie.” He would say ever so coolly, no huffing, no perspiration. She would reach up and cup his face in her small delicate hands, her body leaning into his. She would tilt his head back.” Adam” she would whisper in his ear. Her lips lowering themselves to his, they were close enough to taste. Close enough, CLOSE ENOUGH.....
“YO! dumbshit, move  your fat ass! We’re under pressure here, we’re losing!” said an angry voice from behind him whopping him behind the head hard. One loud yell from Chase McCormack was enough to jolt Adam back to reality, sending him stumbling up to pitch, as though someone had given him a wedgie up his backside. He shuffled only half a dozen steps, each one making his thick lardy flesh judder. The impact of his foot hitting the ground had him wheezing and out of breath fast.
It was hopeless, pointless. Adam stopped.  He leaned forward as far as his large gut allowed him to, hands on knees. Gasping. Lungs, knees, feet, back throbbing, burning. To his left he could hear the laughter and painful remarks of every one including Angie .They were laughing at him. Their laughter rose over the heat and drifted  toward the middle of the field where Adam panted and struggled for breath under his 615lbs. Summer sounds, at least what was left of summer.
This school year was off to a terrible start. For Adam anyway non the less. unlike most  summers, which were only  a small glimpse of sun during the spring season, three weeks or more of rain would follow, then back on with the heavy winter cloths, a small bit of light snow in May, then a really disappointing June. The first May of this year was a furnace blast of unbearable, disgusting,  heat which  lasted trough out the summer, straining itself through out  the begining September, hanging on trough the first weeks of school. Day after day of stifling heat, night after every fucking stuffy, suffocating night. After five months of weather like this, Adam felt as if was suffocating under his enormous , sticky, six hundred and forty pounds. Made worse because it meant that they would be doing an extended summer season.
At least today would be a pay off for five months of peace indoors, the news said that  the heat wave would be over tomorrow, which had brought Adam a quick sense of relief and happiness. Blow the damn whistle and let us leave already!, Adam willed Freeman. They were losing , otherwise if they weren’t he’d never have been froced from the safty of the subs bench and put in the feild.
Blow the whistle, Adam panted , lungs struggling  under his massive weight, to inhale enough air to let him stand up straight, let alone be able to at least move.
                               " Adam!"
                               " Adam , A-D-A-M !"
  His name came charging toward him, screeched loud at maximum volume. A chant. Carring the frightful threat and promise that he'd be ripped, torn apart if he didn't move his fatass fast. He had to look. Wasn't going to get away with playing invisible and deaf.  " Never mind them retard. Get your  fuckn' eye on the ball and just kick the damn ball back up tp pitch for christ sake, it's right in front of  you dumbass!" Coach Freeman was on the side lines yelling at the top of his head at Adam: " Lets go, move your lardy ass!". Adam's  head went back down at the sudden rush of heat that filled his face. But it didn't even mater, Adam could see what every one was doing without looking up. Erging Adam to move, swing their whole bodies in the direction they wanted Adam to move in.
               Adam knew agian without looking up, that the guys on from his team were shooting deadly daggers over thier shoulders as they moved up the feild. Running toward him. Yelling curses at him as they passed. They were wishing Adam would be taken off once and for all, and Adam knew that, he wanted that to. Others on his team were more straight foward with their  objection and hatred. " Whats the fucking  retarded tub of lard up to? the fucking ball is right there and he lets it pass!" " Whales can't play football!" Adam stoped moving , he'd never catch up. Whats the fucking piont. " Kick it back up! No. Up that way Adam!" They were all at it now. More then a dozen vioce filling  his ears. Even kids on the bench behind Coach Freeman were yelling and cursing at him, he could see Angie face redden as she chanted with the rest of them. The rest of them were charging toward him. Circling  him. eyeing him like hungry voltures. " Over here fatass!" "Adam! over here big guy!" " Back up to me , hurry!"
                        Flussterd Adam could barely tell one team from the other. All he could see was sweaty, angry  faces decending toward him, a total fucking nightmare. " Kick it now Adam!" Adam couldn't ignore  Coach Freeman's screeching yells. Adam striaghtend up, looking at the angry faces incircling him. There was Trevor, star player, captain. Yep, he'd aim at him for sure. He could picture it in his mind, and let out a laugh as he drew back his left foot, studing the kick. But it was to late, one of the other players from the other team took the ball. A supurb kick, sent it flying to Chase's goal, where the opposition stayed. Bam. Inside. " Good effort guys. Go and congradulate Adam now." Freeman, ref duties over, blew his whistle at Adam, relucantly diverted the players from menicingly going over to the clammy, fat- flesh mound Adam lying winded on the ground. Extending his long arms the ref correlated the mob  away from beating distance of Adam. Not once did Coach Freeman say anything of the insults that the pupils hurtled over at Adam. Not even when Trevor ran around him and crowed " Fat Boy Fat". Coach Freeman  was to busy yelling at Adam himself. " Damn trophey lost. Useless, lardass butterball, shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a picth".
                                          


                                                            

          Chapter Two



       Adam enterd the locker room. Humilliation was expected for Adams contribution for causing the lost of the big game. After all it wasn't all his fault, if headmaster Stanton hadn't requested that all students in S.t Christophers were to be allowed a fair shoot on the feild , this wouldn't have ever happened. " Lets go Adam into the shower!" yelled Coach Freeman, forcing Adam into the showers, of which Adam could hardly fit into. Trying to compensate the rest of the team after Adam's crucial lost. " Every one will sit quietly on the benches untill Adam has showerd and dressed. Every one will go when he's nice and clean for his mommy". Adam's lungs burned, knees, back throbbing under his weight, heart pounding, his stomach notting, churning as he showerd naked. Whole team wacthing in hysterical laughter. Adam hearing all thier snorts and laughter over the hot, burning running water of the shower.
                     Chase blowing up his cheeks , then smacking them flat with a great humilliating farting sound that had every one laughinhg even more now. " Coach, Adam needs all the showers on, he's only wetting half of his ass" " You missed a spot lardass" "I can see Adam's tinky winky" " Man this is fucking putting me off my diner, I think I'm going to be sick" said Nile making loud retching noises" I didn't know red-headed whales existed". After the shower, Adam had to endure the cruel taunting of having to dry off and get dressed. He clamberd into a pair of huge underpants and then into huge pull-on  strecth pants, then buttoning his shirt. His fingers fumbling to button  his shirt and failing. Adam could feel the lardy mass of his enormous , stretch mark covered white belly mashing against the tight material.
               Fat.
               ugly. Clumsy. Hopless.
Chase l leaned agianst the door way of the changing room . Adam looked up, Chase smiling menecingly. When Adam bent down, struggling to with his laces, his blood rushing to his head as he bent over, Trevor  walked up and began poking in the back side "Boingggg, boinggg" As soon as he did Coach freeman dismissed every one .
            Adam was hungry. Today was Friday, the only day Adam had the house to him self. Parents away at his brother's cross town game, Adam's day to order anything he wanted, to gorge in peace.
          As Adam got up to go, he relized his bag was missing, so was his jacket . He heard water running. Adam picked his way across the muddy floor to the showers. Sighed. one shower had been left on , it angled just so to soak the belongings underneath. Adam's extra socks were wegded in the shower drain, blocking it so several inches of water swirled between Adam's feet and the shower. In the water, among the floating  band aids were the contents of Adam's school bag: Text books, notebooks, agenda, food wrappers. The school bag dangled upside down  from a high window ledge.
     Adam was a pro now on concentrating on the problem and not letting get to him. But nether the less it still bothered him, no matter how many times he tried to flee it from his mind.  Why? Why me? thought Adam as he stepped into the clogged, over flowing shower. Adam tryed to save the textbooks from any more severe damage then they had already. His school note books were down right destroyed, luckily no notes were given through the first weeks of school, so that wasn't a problem. As he picked up his belongings one by one he relized what he saw: papers ripped , shredded, torn. Edegs burned. Red writing spread across the front of the wet, shredding papers, Fat Ugly SHIT. He held the soggy, crumpling mess that was his song writting journal. Adam quicly scooped them up, making sure they would shred any farther, and laid them gentally on the benches , wondering if they would dry.
              Adam was in deep shit now. Dad had paid $126.00 for each text book, and now they were destroyed. Especialy since his jaket was for next year, and the next, and the next, given the fact that he didn't gain any mor weight. His only one, and the last, gulped Adam, holding up the dripping, stained gorment at arms length the smell of pee lingering off the jacket, filling his nostrils and swichting off the shower. It was way less then a month old, specially made for his enormouse size. No way in hell would his dad be able to fork up even more for another one. Adam forced him self to think about the these problems. They were real and he would have to deal with them sooner or later. They belonged to the future and had severe dying concequences. For now Adam had to deal with getting  himself and his dripping wet belongings home. His bus was noe a definate mass of wet pulp, utterly useless now.
        Waddling out , a wet bundle leaving a trail behind him. Adam begam the long , painful , breathless, humillaiting walk home. He kept his head  down as he passed the lockers hoping he was invisible, that no one would see him. But oh no was he wrong. As he wobbled by a group of kids burst out laughing , pinching his fat sides as hard as they could as he walked by, chanting : Fatty, fatty two by four can't fit through the kicthen door! at the top of thier lungs.Adam lowered his head, his chins compressing his throat. his cheeks burning red as he caught Angie wacthing, laughing and hurried out.This was going to be a hell of a way to begin the freshman year.

                                       Chapter Three

The house was empty when Adam arrived , tired , sweaty. Back, knees, lungs, legs throbbing with excruciating pain. Adam knew as soon as he walked through thr front door that he was safe. No name calling, taunting, yelling, no questions of why he was late. Only a clock ticking in the kicthen challenged the silence. Bliss, peace, place to himself. Adam sighed. Relaxing at last, no sports, no classmates, no dad , no brothers. Didn't any one see it by now? He knew hwe was fat. Just fat. Lardy. Ginormous. clinicly super obese. over six hundred pounds. There was no need for anyone to rub it in his face, and yet they did. " Don't start that agian" Adam warned himself aloud, but it was hard. Soon as he gut thinking about it he had afight on his hands to stop his mind from scrawling down the list of names for fat he'd beemn called over the years. Must be hundreds of them. Adam pretended he didn't hear them but he did, he shrug them off, pretened the didn't hurt.
                   But deep inside it hurt, realy hurt. Every fucking time. In side Adam didn't feel like Fat boy fat, lardass, or tub of lard. Of course not. He wa a teenager after all. Normal in every way dispite his large size. His bedroom was a fucking mess: Guitar , songs all over the floor, cloths thrown all over, bed unmade. A pigs thye for sure. He dreaded getting up for school on school mornings. If any of the kids in school peeled a layer or five of fatty lard, they'd find a normal beating teenage heart. If any of the kids ever botherd  to talk to him instead of humilliating him on a dialy basis or beating him up, they'd seehe was just the same as they were. Clued up on as they were on music, t.v, movies-even gulp sports. Adam sighed. It was friday night after all. Why get cuaght up on things he couldn't change?
                       Every thing was under control. Adam had walked into the kichten and found the money his mom had left him to order anything he wanted, $ 200.00, dollars worth and he was planing to use all of it.He had already called the nearest Pizza Hut and orderd 7 seven pizza pies with every thing on it, cinnimon sticks, calzones, everything. He flicked through the movies as he waited for the pizza to arrive and choose his favorites. Adam took out the left over feta ravioli he had made for dinner on his mom's birthday yesterday a master piece! and place in the oven to warm. He popped in severle mini powderd donughts into his mouth, savoring the sweet taste when the door bell rang. He rushed to the door and paid for the pizza and every thing else and rushed back inside. he hurried into the living room and placed the pizza boxes next to the coffe table.
                         Adam returned to the kicthen and hurried back to the living room  armed with six bags of lays potatoe chips, two cartons of Breyer's Cookies and Cream ice cream, four boxes of Entenmann's cherry cheese danish, two whole cold lasagnas, twelve bags of Dorito's, ten packages of Oreo's double stuffed ,  one whole cold meatloaf, fifteen Pringles cans and the left over feta ravioli. Almost every thing in side his entire kicthen and fridge was now layed out infont of him on the cofe table and floor. Adam thudded down in front of the the t.v . He made sure his three 2 liters of Coca Cola soda were lined up in hands reach. How else was he supposed to plug up the hungry hole that the taunting and humilliation of today's losing game had excavated?
                  Adam stuffed slice after slice of pizza into his mouth. Shoving the salty, cheesy chips and sweet ice cream into himself. His mouth filled with the soft sweat, ice cream, salty chips, saucy pizza and the warm ravioli, it turning into a mixture of magical flavors that combined and exploded in his mouth, making his mind feel high.The food coated his teeth , and tonge. Adam allowed himself a little sigh. He jammed open a  package of Oreo's and shoved them into his mouth as fast as he could , not caring about the crumbs that spilled out the corners of his mouth ; just jamming in the cookies as fats as he could as if they would disappear and cause the pain to come back.
                              He swallowed mouth fulls of ravioli, meatloaf, lasagna , spoonfuls of icecream the size of ping pong balls; that stuck in his throat and chest untill he was forced to wash them down with ice cold soda. They hurt going down. He felt every cookie, slice of pizza, ever thing he had consumed in the short twenty minutes, which would have to be at least half his weight in food,push through his throat and chest untill it fell with a thump into his stomach. He ignored the painful fullness the strechted out his stomach. It felt as if he would burst into chunks if he kept eating. But it felt good, it felt satisfying. It provide him a temporary high, It felt as if all his problems were being buried. It felt as if all his control was gone, he was so full he felt as if he would explode but yet he couldn't stop eating until he had finished every thing in front of him, untill he was sure that the painfull emptiness wouldn't return